Dilemma....haiz...

I believe many people out there have face this trouble before....perhaps this is part of growing up. Deciding your future path is a very hard decision to make especially when you have something you dreamt of doing and finally having a chance to make it and on the other hand, something u believe is good for yourself and promise a good future ahead. Haiz....

As for my case, i have long dreamt of being a pilot and go all over the world. And being blessed with a perfect eyesight and a decent height, this dream is not far from reach. However, my mind have been influence with the career prospect of holding a degree in accountancy. So, the question now is whether i should follow my heart or follow my mind? Haiz....

People around me, from my parents to my relatives, from my friends till my lecturer, is giving me L-P-P-L answer. As usual, the older generation doubt my ability to succeed as a pilot and said being a pilot is very boring, no much different from a driver. On the other hand, my friends supported the pilot ambition and said is something special that not everybody have a chance to try but.....end up teasing me saying that they would never want to be inside the plane with em as the pilot. Lol. Y did i say all of them give me L-P-P-L answer is because no matter what they say, they end with this, "u decide yourself la,do the things u like the most...".

Haiz...and recently i seemed to got attracted to a girl, that never in my life until that very second, believe i would actually fall for her. She is not the usual hottie that could seduce you by just a single look or those bombshell dressed to kill, instead, she is a total opposite, very innocent, not flirtish, normal dressing....everything u could use to describe a good girl would be suitable for her. Wait a second, let me explain, all this time i usually interested and more preferable towards those happening and more outgoing type of girl. That is why i keep wondering and actually denying the factthat i liked her....haiz... but she seemed like a drug to me.
It is shocking to realise that i would do anyting to see a smile on her face and not expecting anyting in return. My god....help!!!! I m sinking without trace...

SO...the next thing that happen is that i actually talk to her about a possible relationship...we had a nice chat and we both agreed that it is better to be friends....would u all think i m rather stupid not to continue pursueing? What is playing around my mind is that i havent decide on my future path, how could i be able to show her a future? What if one day, i eventually become a pilot and fly everyday? Maybe seeing her or maybe not as she might also be pursueing her career or any higher level of certificates....

So, i agreed of remaining as a friend and who knows, one day we might still be together if we are meant for each other, maybe few years or a decade later....only god knows.. Fantasies even ran through my mind all the time thinking about how to make her happy and make her feel special. One that went through my mind was having a candle light dinner on the plane, maybe i could do it if i succeed as a pilot...the rest shall be kept secret and serve as a surprise and only for me n her to know....hehehe...

My mind seemed to flew too much away, let's get back to the main topic... so how shud i make a decision i would not regret later? Pilot or Accountant? I m really facing a very serious dilemma and even though economics thought us on opportunity cost, I couldnt differentiate which one is better as both have its good and bad....haiz.... If only God could tell me show me the way and tell me which is the better choice....if dat happens a lot of people would be winning 4D's already..Lol..

hopefully that is someone out there capable of differentiating the two prospects and give me some advises...and may god bless me....

A Regretful Decision

Have anyone ever made a terrible mistake and for one moment u made the wrong decision that can never turn back forever?

First of all, I would call myself a seeker of true love, who failed in plenty of relationship but still keeping faith that true love exist. There was once, where i m all over this girl.....a girl who is my coursemate studying in the same college. I was so in love with her that almost every moment i would be thinking about her and if we're in the same class, my eyes could never leave her...

At first things went pretty well, we start to know each other and we get closer and closer...so close that i dont even know we're a couple or best friends....somewhere in between i guess. So, one day i ask her whether we should start a relationship and try if things worked out... As usual, the beginning of the relationship is always sweet and nice in every aspect.

As we go on, things start to change and sometimes she is being irrationally demanding and sometimes i find it very hard to communicate with her.. As a result, we broke up after i was frustrated and were continuosly irritated. I thought that was the best for both of us. I also believe that time could be the antidote and wound would one day heal by itself...

The relationship itself was just three months....but the pain i suffered after it was way beyond expectation...and is already one year since then. It hurts me when she was flirting other guys, dating other guy, and the worst of it is that we are in the same intake and would eventually meet each other everyday and i have to pretend as though nothing happen...

As i thought i am already suffered the worst thign ever...i was shocked to see that this ex of mine is dating a bastard of the century and one of the guy i hate the most in my life....Wat the heck, man !!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Can u imagine how i feel?

Everything in this world must experience growth and perhaps i am just experiencing it the harsh way.. now, me and dis ex of mine are back to friends, as in the very close friends type....i still don't believe i could still sacrifice for this girl and would not want to hurt her.. but deep in the corner of my heart, i know...i have loved her before more then any other girl in this world, i have tried to be a good boyfriend and take care of her more than my soul....but i would say, let the past be history, and may the sweet memories craved deeply in our heart....now, we are friends, or more detailed, should be best friends...